i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
