I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The adults are the big ones right?
Pooping to opera.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize