Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Life is so much better after having sex.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
