im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
ttyl tear gas
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
