My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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