Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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