wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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