I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
