We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
