Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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