I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
