she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Randomize
