ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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