I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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