I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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