Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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