I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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