the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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