porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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