I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm both gender and math confused
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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