he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
