I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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