He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
