real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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