I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
