I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
