Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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