DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
