wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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