Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
