If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
