Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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