I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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