she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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