There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i used baking grease as lip gloss
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
