Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's just like the Real World with babies
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize