Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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