you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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