you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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