normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
