It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my being single is dangerous.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
