I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
