Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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