He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize