I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
