Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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