i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
