It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
