I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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