so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
