So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
