Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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