Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
